Funny Condom Jokes #3
WARNING: These jokes are of an adult nature and should not be read by anyone easily offended.


A Canadian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner when an American man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Canadian ignored the American, who nevertheless, started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folks eat the whole bread?"
The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Canada." The American had a smirk on his face.
The Canadian listened in silence.

The American persisted. "Do you eat jelly with the bread?"
Sighing, the Canadian replied, "Of course."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Canada."

Getting tired of the American, the Canadian finally responded: "Do you have sex in the States?"
The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do."
The Canadian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course."
Now it was the Canadian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States."
The American stopped smiling...

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend vacation. And we know what that meant. Their first night there she undresses as he does. Then, she is just in her black lacy undies. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black undies? " She replies, 'My body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night.

The following night the same scenario. She's standing there with the black undies on and he is in his birthday suit; except that he is wearing a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this...a black condom?" He replies, "I want to offer my condolences."